it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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