OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
