You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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