kristin has been a bad kristin
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
