AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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