you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize