I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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