sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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