Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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