kristin has been a bad kristin
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize