never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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