White coat. Heels.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
