No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
