How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
