Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
