whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
