Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sorry about my life...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
