Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
