i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
