oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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