So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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