no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
