Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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