My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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