The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
