Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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