"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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