Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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