Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I want her autograph on my taint
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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