She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
