How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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