So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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