just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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