Pappa wants mamma naked
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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