When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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