I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There's always time for handjobs
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
