Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
