Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
two words...techno handjob
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
