How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
