Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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