I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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