Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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