I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
