this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
