The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
