tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
