new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
