She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize