I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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