So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
