ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
