He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
