the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize