I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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