About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
