she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think my moral compass just broke
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
