I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
