Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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