she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
