You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
